If you’re pushing 85 but still a Facebook whiz, you risk being told many times that life is short, not a dress rehearsal, and that you should be out carpe diem-ing somewhere. The intent, of course is to spoil the little bit of time you do have left. So you go out on the front lawn some night, and look up in the sky where He’s supposed to be and yell “Hey God. I’m playing in the bottom of the ninth down here and I can’t figure out what to do!
Should I be tottering along towards San Compostela and taking lots of selfies?
Should I get baptized, memorize the bible passages that criticize me by name?
Should I start an autobiography of all the things I thought were important to do at the time?
Should I have myself carried up Everest to become an eternal cryogenic icon at altitude?
Should I be joining an Armenian monastery and giving them my whole collection of Vanity Fair?
Should I be building raised toilets for the elderly poor in Mozambique?
Should I stay in bed with 180 Seinfeld episodes and egg and onion sandwiches and Pepsi?
Rocking chair, front porch, headphone, Mormon Tabernacle Choir, “You’ll Never Walk Alone”
OR...DO THE BOWEN BUCKET LIST!
* Watch the ferry leave one car.
Drop by the Snug at 4 p.m. and watch the chair stacking.
Be at the changing of the gallery’s Open & Close signs.
Count post boxes. Make your own location map.
Dive under 40km in the 40 zone, under 30k in the 30 zone.
Do a trail sign selfie at the bottom of Hiker’s Trail.’
At recycling, spend ten minutes smelling the wine bottle bin.
Make a photo collection of all the LIFT signs.
Put all our stuff in piles.
Put your hand in the library book return slot and see what happens.
Drive to all cul de sacs. See if you can find 118.
Steal dog poop bags from the park to keep your stuff in.
Remove yoga posters and put them on different poles.
Figure out that thing nobody has a name for.
––Ron Woodall
