Bonita Lai's family thought she was crazy allowing her only son Eric Lai to join the army. After three years of training, at the age of 22, Cpl. Lai was sent over to Afghanistan to serve his first tour."One of the hardest things was watching my son make out his will," explains his mother. "It's a reminder that he may not come back."
Lai describes herself as different from other army moms, who often ask her how she is able to cope with a child overseas. "I tell them, 'If you love your children, you do this because it is their wish. If you go against them, they go into war alone. But if you support them and love them continuously, they will feel like you are there with them.' A lot of the time, I felt like I was fighting the war along with him." Staying calm was crucial as it allows them to focus 100 per cent on what they do, says Lai. " I could have been selfish and kept him close but what can I do when he just wants to save lives? He makes me try so hard to be a better person," she said. And at the end of each phone call with her son, she would tell him, "be safe and come home to me."
It is with pride and emotion that Lai recounts her son's story: Cpl. Lai started off as a combat engineer, driving a tank of seven and eight people.When he returned to Edmonton where he was stationed, he was chosen to be one of 17 Canadians across the country to be trained as a bomb technician. Only six graduated, Cpl. Lai among them. He was eager to serve a second tour, hoping to make a difference and save lives - during his first tour, two of his friends had died from roadside bombs.
Cpl. Lai was only one and a half months into his second tour when he was bombed. They had located an explosive in a compound which was too dangerous to defuse, so they planned to blow it up. Along with four other soldiers, this special unit was mentoring a group of Afghans on how to eliminate hazardous materials and proper procedures relating to bombs. On that particular day, Cpl. Lai was the last man standing. His job was to say the final "go" but only after he was a safe distance from the blast. Unexpectedly, the bomb detonated early. As Cpl. Lai stood there absorbing the blast, the other four soldiers watched helplessly.
Bonita Lai recounts, "He told me there was a ringing tone in his ears and it felt like a black out. He remembered feeling a warm liquid around his body. He stood for a moment, then collapsed."
Cpl. Lai suffered shrapnel wounds to his arms, neck and face. His legs had been sand-blasted and his clothes shredded - his uniform could not be salvaged. He was in critical condition and spent three days in Afghanistan until he was stable enough to be moved to Germany. After six days there, he was transferred back home to Edmonton.
Bonita Lai was having dinner with a friend when she noticed a few missed calls on her phone, "I wasn't expecting a call so early in his tour," she said.She found out that army officials wanted to meet her and rushed home on the 5:30 ferry. There, at Miksa, she was told what happened. "They told me he was blown up, in critical condition and had infections in his wounds," Lai said. She flew to Edmonton to be reunited with her son who refused a wheelchair, insisting on walking to greet his mother so she wouldn't worry. "I could see his spirit was still there even though it was clear he had a long way to go with his recovery. He is lucky to be alive," says Lai.
Cpl. Lai is still recovering. He went through microscopic surgery to his ear to remove shrapnel, the membrane in one ear was replaced and the delicate bones that were destroyed are now replaced with titanium implants. He has regained some of his hearing in one ear and has approximately 30 per cent in the other. The injuries have affected his balance, and he suffers from dizzy spells and has fainted a couple of times. He lives with a constant ringing in his ears and still has shards of shrapnel in his neck. The four soldiers who witnessed Cpl. Lai's accident suffer from post-traumatic stress.
Cpl. Lai continues to help his fellow soldiers. He is volunteering his time at a recovery place for injured soldiers and their families called Valour Place, located in Edmonton. This organization is the first of its kind in Canada and has recently opened a temporary home for soldiers, veterans and RCMP members who require medical treatment. For more information, see http://valourplace.ca.
"As a mother, you feel the sorrow of these boys but you need to guide them - they may come home but their journey is still not done" says Lai.
