It's the parents' prerogative to worry about their kids, especially at a time when they gain more independence. For children with special needs, coping on their own can be even more of a challenge. For Doug and Karen McGregor, it is their son's commute to and from school that causes them anguish as this is where he was subjected to bullying.
The McGregors embrace the idea that their 14-year-old son Daniel, who has Down syndrome, takes steps on his own. Daniel is a student at West Vancouver Secondary School (WVSS) and has had the help of a Special Education Assistant (SEA) on the ferry and school bus from Bowen Island to West Vancouver, and back. But recently, the school discontinued the assistance.
"We've always been pushing for him to gain more independence," Karen McGregor said. "We didn't want him to have an SEA for his entire school life. But this has turned into a dangerous situation."
Since Daniel had to travel alone, there have been several incidents where he has been targeted by bullies. At one time, his backpack was taken and thrown around he had trouble getting it back. Another day, he was asked to play hide and seek. It turned out that he was the only one hiding the others had left. On yet another occasion, he was approached to sit with a group of peers but when he got there, everyone else stood up to go.
"Daniel is very accepting and sociable," Karen McGregor said. "All he really wants is to fit in. That's where the problem starts." She says that Daniel doesn't know the difference between peers who are genuinely friendly and those who tease him. But he still feels hurt when he realizes that he is being used.
It is especially painful for Karen McGregor to hear about those incidents because it brings back memories of something traumatic that happened to Daniel when he was attending Grade 7 at the Bowen Island Community School (BICS).
There were 10 boys who were directly involved. They told Daniel to put a hockey stick into his mouth while they filmed him. The video ended up on Facebook.
"It was close to the end of the school year and there was little time to effectively address the issue," says Karen McGregor, adding that the matter was brought to the attention of the police but no charges were laid.
"[At BICS], they talk about restorative justice as a way to deal with a situation like this. But for us, that wasn't working," she said, adding that an acquaintance had observed the group going to the police station, laughing and joking along the way. Karen McGregor says she is not aware of any consequences such as being banned from school outings or community service imposed on those involved in the incident.
At first, the school refused to let the McGregors see the video. "They asked us, 'what do you want to see that for?'" Karen recalls. "Of course, you imagine the worst but we needed to verify what happened."
She felt that knowing the whole story would be important so she could help Daniel deal with it. After much insistence, she and her husband were able to see the film. "It was shocking. The kids did not sound childlike, it really was a mob reaction. When Doug and I watched it, we were shocked," she recalls. Karen McGregor felt that the teachers had a similar reaction.
"I believe that those kids know right from wrong but they seem to think it doesn't matter," she said.
Daniel refused to go to school after that but his parents thought that things were looking up when he entered WVSS until they heard about what happened on the ferry. "None of the recent incidents would have occurred if Daniel would have had someone there to monitor what was going on," Karen McGregor said. In email communications and meetings with WVSS staff, the McGregors have asked to reconsider the decision to let Daniel travel without supervision. The family knows of other youth with Down syndrome who attended WVSS and had an SEA with them at all times.
"Schools don't have to ensure the safety of their students getting to and from school - that's left up to each school district but it's highly recommended by the Ministry of Education," Karen McGregor said. "Daniel needs to gain independence in a safe way, step by step. There was no transition time, it was just discontinued."
Superintendent of schools for the West Vancouver School District Çhris Kennedy confirmed that he is aware that the McGregors would like to continue full-time supervision during Daniel's commute. But he says that the SEA was not simply cut. "One of Daniel's goals was to gain more independence and we built a transition plan that was implemented in the fall," he said. "It was gradual: the SEA was first reduced to three days, then to two. Then we asked the SEA to shadow Daniel and report back to us."
The feedback Kennedy received was that Daniel had a good group of friends looking out for him during the ferry ride. In response to the incidents mentioned by the McGregors, Kennedy says that the school board takes anything that involves bullying very seriously. "When things are brought to our attention, we investigate them," he explained. "There were two incidents the family brought forward and we worked to resolve them."
Kennedy added that some of the students who know Daniel best were included in the discussion. "They don't think there is ongoing bullying," he said. "[Daniel] is a very likable kid and lots of students interact with him well. What they reported was that Daniel is well loved and has a group of kids who support him." Kennedy added that this statement was backed up by the report of the SEA who shadowed Daniel as part of the transition plan.
"There is a shared responsibility around getting students to school but we take it very seriously to ensure that they are safe at school as well as on their way to and from school," he said, adding that the decision to cut the service was not related to budgetary concerns or policy changes.
The conversation has to focus on inclusion and on treating one another with respect, according to Kennedy, who believes that the story that has come forward paints an inaccurate picture of Bowen Island students. "I take great pride in the kind of kids they are - there are some pretty fine young men and women raised on Bowen Island," Kennedy said, adding that he hopes the incident sparks a thoughtful community conversation that can help the kids learn good life lessons.
Kennedy also welcomes a discussion about behaviour on the ferry. "We want to make sure everyone is safe and comfortable. And we can look at what role the larger community can play. The conversation needs to centre on how we interact with one another and how we can do that better. We'd be happy to help and engage in a dialogue with the students and the ferry personnel," he said, adding that the school board can play a facilitation role.
This is a conversation the McGregors would welcome as they have had very little feedback, even regarding the incident with the hockey stick. "I have to question the kids' understanding of what they have done," Karen McGregor said."The fact that not one of the 10 boys nor their parents approached us speaks volumes."
And the parents were aware of the situation they were notified by the police, Karen McGregor explained. She believes that this lack of accountability only aggravates the situation. "Before coming here, we were in Australia. My daughter was bugging a boy, together with a group of girls. They were chasing him and pinching him. When I heard about it, I was upset. I spoke to my daughter and explained how the boy felt. She called him to apologize," Karen McGregor said, adding that she would hope that similar discussions would have happened around dinner tables on Bowen Island. But the two parents who later spoke to her only did so at the school's prompting.
Daniel's sister has intervened on several occasions after finding her brother in tears, according to Karen McGregor, who says that she knows that there are Bowen students willing to help Daniel. She also mentioned that there were two girls at BICS who stepped up to stop the video. But at the time, some of the boys involved were in Grade 7, some in Grade 6. For the next school year, they will all likely ride the ferry with Daniel and that worries Karen McGregor.
"As much as we want him to be more independent, we know that he was really hurt," she said. "It's often said that students are the representatives of their schools. So what does that tell us about our schools?"
