Three children, five schedules, multiple personalities and fifteen years of marriage: I tell you, sometimes the only thread that holds this family together is the intangible bond of ritual. Last Saturday when I should’ve been at Light Up Bowen with the family, there I was instead, grumbling on a cold ice arena bench watching thirteen year old boys scramble for the puck taking turns knocking each other into the boards. On Sunday when I should’ve been at the Christmas Craft Fair, there I was cleaning house, folding laundry, baking muffins and drying out hockey gear by the fire. This weekend when each day is chockablock full of Bowen Island Holiday festivities, it’s hard to know where my family life will call me, but what I do know, is that no matter where I’m needed, or what I’m called to fill my time with, the mere knowing that there are certain things that happen every year here on this island we call home, brings me a deep sense of belonging and community comfort. That’s the power of ritual.
I’ll be open with you, there have been multiple years in my marriage to Mr. Todd when we opted to stay in the game for a few more months simply because the idea of cancelling our annual family get-away seemed just wrong. Rituals have been the glue for this family of five many a time and frankly, I’d go so far as to say may have even saved us. Now this holiday season Mr. Todd and I are in full couple swing. Corny as it sounds, we’re kind of in love. We’re appreciating that for this season, it seems as if the storms have passed. This year instead of clutching to the ritual of the holidays like a life preserver, we are happily puttering, preparing and enjoying it instead. Yes, we have benefited greatly from the unspoken power of ritual.
I’m sure you get this, but in case you’re new to the island, or have been here so long that you no longer see it, once December 1 rolls over, if you want a storybook holiday experience you can have it here. The boats in our Marina light up, our Snug Cove restaurants begin to bustle, pre-schoolers get busy making lanterns for the Light Up procession, trees are decorated by local businesses, and every weekend is double, triple, quadruple packed with possible concerts, craft fairs, theatrical events and of course local shopping and celebrating. Think of it, where else can you go and witness real life braying donkeys in a live nativity? Our Light Up Bowen event is the stuff that holiday movies are made of. The holiday rituals on this island are endless. The Knick Knack Nook holds a children’s shopping day, Mary Letson’s Positively Fit sponsors an annual Reindeer Trek in support of the Bowen Island Christmas Hamper, we collect for the homeless, we donate turkey dollars, we enjoy Dickens, we sing along at Bowen Court, we sit at tables and bonfires with our neighbours and friends and all of this happens before December 24th, Christmas Eve. On Bowen it’s not the twelve days of Christmas, its the 24 days of twelve events a day of Christmas.
Yet still, it can get dark here on this rock. It can be downright isolating at times as we live in such close quarters for all of our space. There is so much to do it can feel like too much to do. So the question begs, what to do? What are your rituals? For some it’s a silent hike up Mount Gardner on Christmas Day, or a long walk along the Cape to breathe in the ocean and refuel. I’ve heard that Killarney Lake is a busy place to try to find yourself on Boxing Day, and a long quiet run from the Ferry dock to Mt. Gardner dock is delicious for the runners out there who need to move their body after feasting the night before.
Whatever it is, whatever your rituals are be they new or old, be they followed or forgotten, be they with your community, your family, or with yourself this holiday season, let’s take a nice long deep Bowen Island breath of gratitude for this way of holiday life we have created here. I’m certain it’s one of the reasons Mr. Todd and I are still holding hands and why you just might see us dashing into the icy waters of Bowen Bay for the annual polar bear swim on New Year’s Day. Thank goodness for rituals. They have served my family well.
