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Parents of slain teen talk about restorative justice

Tissues were passed around in the BICS gym on Monday, April 10, as images of Reena Virk flashed across the screen before an audience of about 70 parents, teenagers and community members. Reena's life found a brutal end 13 years ago.

Tissues were passed around in the BICS gym on Monday, April 10, as images of Reena Virk flashed across the screen before an audience of about 70 parents, teenagers and community members.

Reena's life found a brutal end 13 years ago. Her parents, Suman and Manjit Virk, came to Bowen Island to tell their story. Manjit Virk put it this way: "We wanted to share how we moved forward and found courage and compassion."

The event was organized by Brenda Morrison, a SFU professor who works in restorative justice at SFU and on the North Shore. A DVD titled The Reena Virk Story has been produced as a resource for restorative practices and made up a part of the presentation. The DVD chronicles Reena's journey from happy toddler to troubled teen. Suman Virk said, "When Reena turned 12, 13, she wanted to be accepted. She decided to change her image. She thought if she built up a reputation that she was tough, maybe the other kids would respect her."

On November 14, 1997, Reena was at home planning to watch movies with her younger siblings. She received a call with an invitation to a party and her mother heard her ask on the phone if she was going to get beaten up. Reena had heard rumours and was scared. But she went out anyway. When Reena didn't come home, her mother phoned relatives, Reena's friends and then, the police. It was only a week later, when word got out that a girl had been killed, that the police started to take her seriously. Reena's body was found the following Saturday and the story of her murder emerged. Suman Virk said, "When they told me that there had been a fight, I thought that maybe they had been on the bridge and Reena fell. But then we heard that she had been swarmed."

Reena had been surrounded by eight girls who took turns kicking and punching her. One of the girls had said, "She looks like she's had enough," and dissuaded the others from continuing the assault. All had walked away and Reena made her way across the bridge to get home. That was when Kelly Ellard and Warren Glowatski caught up with her, dragged her to the beach and killed her. Reena's parents later found out that Reena's killer had held her head under with a foot while she smoked a cigarette. Glowatski and Ellard were convicted of second-degree murder. Glowatski was tried as an adult, Ellard as a young offender.Six other girls were convicted of assault for their role in the initial beating.

Coming to terms with Reena's death has been a difficult process. Manjit said, "While we were going though the whole thing, I did a lot of thinking. It didn't make any sense why this happened but I realized that everyone makes mistakes and the only way we can move on is to learn from them. I am speaking from personal experience. When you hold on to anger, it can consume you."

Manjit recounted the time when one of Reena's assailants asked to meet them. He said, "The boy who had killed my daughter wanted to apologize. That was hard." At first, Manjit couldn't imagine an encounter without anger. Then he said, "But I started to think about his life too. When we listened to his story, he was in tears. And we forgave him. At least I know he turned his life around."

To show their support for Glowatski, the Virks were present when he was granted parole in 2007. Manjit Virk said, "The boy had a different perspective. He is out on parole. He acknowledged what he has done. Kelly [Ellard] is on other side of spectrum. She has not even admitted that she has done anything. She is in denial."

Suman said, "In the youth justice system, there is no counselling or mental health care available. And once they're incarcerated, the defence lawyer instructs them to stick to being innocent rather than dealing with it and moving on. Kelly is now eligible to apply for parole and we'll see what happens next. It's a sad thing that youth offenders are not given the assistance they need."

Suman added that a few months before Reena was murdered, another girl had been injured by Ellard to the point where she had been hospitalized. The teen had been too scared to press charges so her parents simply moved her to another school. Suman urged parents and educators to speak out. She said, "Early intervention is definitely the key."

Manjit said, "Most times, things don't happen suddenly. If we act early, then they don't get to the stage where something bad happens. When someone's feelings are hurt or there is damage to property, we need to deal with it right away. Because when a life is lost, how can you fix it?"

At BICS, there were a number of teenagers in the audience. Grade 6 and 7 students had just completed a course in restorative justice. Speaking directly to the youth, Manjit said, "If you copy someone, if you act like them, dress like them, talk like them, you lose your identity. Choose your friends wisely. If you know they don't care, stay away from them."

Suman said, "If [Reena] had had one friend that night who was genuine, maybe someone would have warned her. But no one phoned 911. And the week after, no one phoned the police. Please reach out to one another."

Brenda Morrison said, "Listening and storytelling are functions of healthy relationships. The stories that we're holding inside are the ones that are going to eat us up. Each of us needs a safe place to tell our stories. That is what we do in the field of restorative justice."

On Saturday, April 30, North Shore Restorative Justice offers a one-day training on Bowen with Kay Pranis, an internationally recognized trainer. The session will be based on her latest book Heart of Hope. There will only be 25 spaces available; the cost is $100 per person. For more information contact Brenda Morrison at brendam@sfu.ca.